Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Not having diet to be skinny but doing exercise to be fit!!! :)
I over used my credit again...:P
Im fat!!! arrrggghhh...I cant fit my favourite jeans anymore....T.T cus Im too fattttt....T.T I going on diet....not actua;;y diet...but I gonado much more exercise tomorrow onwards!!! First I'll wake up at 6.30 and run on the running machine then I'll take my shower and go for tuition...then go for swimming after my tuition and then do hula hoo pbefore bed...I'll eat my meal but cut down the amount of rice.I'll still eat food I love and I'll just do more exercise.That's all.I just wish I could get fitter after holidays...
I have to get an average of more than 63...dont think I can even get close to that mark...but I'll have to try. I wanna get good results...please...Im gonna study hard...My friends are gonna help me out too...I love y'allll!!!!
Sometimes Im ment to be left out.things change...but my love for y'guys??Will never change......I guess...eveyb0dy is s0 talented and me?? Im like a piece of shit.I suck to be myself..Im just a loser that wont fit in...
I'll still try to smile...eventhough I dont really ment smiling....Im sorry...
Carmen
12:09am
6.6.2010
Im fat!!! arrrggghhh...I cant fit my favourite jeans anymore....T.T cus Im too fattttt....T.T I going on diet....not actua;;y diet...but I gonado much more exercise tomorrow onwards!!! First I'll wake up at 6.30 and run on the running machine then I'll take my shower and go for tuition...then go for swimming after my tuition and then do hula hoo pbefore bed...I'll eat my meal but cut down the amount of rice.I'll still eat food I love and I'll just do more exercise.That's all.I just wish I could get fitter after holidays...
I have to get an average of more than 63...dont think I can even get close to that mark...but I'll have to try. I wanna get good results...please...Im gonna study hard...My friends are gonna help me out too...I love y'allll!!!!
Sometimes Im ment to be left out.things change...but my love for y'guys??Will never change......I guess...eveyb0dy is s0 talented and me?? Im like a piece of shit.I suck to be myself..Im just a loser that wont fit in...
I'll still try to smile...eventhough I dont really ment smiling....Im sorry...
Carmen
12:09am
6.6.2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Life's harsh...
You made us worry..
you ruin everything..
you ruin seven people's life...
You made us sad...
what's the advantage??
Cant you just have a firm family??
why on earth must you ruin everything?!!
you ruin everything..
you ruin seven people's life...
You made us sad...
what's the advantage??
Cant you just have a firm family??
why on earth must you ruin everything?!!
Midnight
Writing my blog at midnight seems okay for me...It's 1.01am now....I acnt sleep feel like doing my homework in my room....
Today.I feel useless...Im like a useless dumd ass sitting there waiting for people to give me all the well-done work by them....sejarah project..Jas ,jaycie and sk did well..only me,the useless brat! done nothing !!!....I just dont feel good today...This project is making me feel bad...seriously..I've DONE NOTHIHNG!!NOTHING AT ALL...
How I wish to have a computer in my room...huh...so I can have privacy...hmmm....
Most of my friends are going to enjoy their holidays...but not for me...Im not enjoying....We have exams after our holidays..how on earth am I gonna relax??!! I dont have a chance to....My mom would ask me to relax,but I just cant.
I dont know what's wrong with me today...dont feel well...and Im still not sleepy yet!!! gosh I wanna sleep...but how can I sleep when im not sleepy??
I was fixing my blog's skin this evening...gah...I was sooo lame....done the whole day and yet having the same skin..==
Today.I feel useless...Im like a useless dumd ass sitting there waiting for people to give me all the well-done work by them....sejarah project..Jas ,jaycie and sk did well..only me,the useless brat! done nothing !!!....I just dont feel good today...This project is making me feel bad...seriously..I've DONE NOTHIHNG!!NOTHING AT ALL...
How I wish to have a computer in my room...huh...so I can have privacy...hmmm....
Most of my friends are going to enjoy their holidays...but not for me...Im not enjoying....We have exams after our holidays..how on earth am I gonna relax??!! I dont have a chance to....My mom would ask me to relax,but I just cant.
I dont know what's wrong with me today...dont feel well...and Im still not sleepy yet!!! gosh I wanna sleep...but how can I sleep when im not sleepy??
I was fixing my blog's skin this evening...gah...I was sooo lame....done the whole day and yet having the same skin..==
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Hostel
I've been thinking of moving into the hostel for a long time...
so I asked my mom for permission. she dont allow me to move in....I told her I woulnd have that much distractions if I move into the hostel..it's just for my result's sake....but she said she wouldnt want to miss seeing me grow up...she said I'll have a chance to stay in a hostel...i told her is not the same...she said if I move in to the hostel...we'll not have that much interaction...
my grandma..she always think in her way!! I dont like it...gosh!!! I told her it's not her fault that I wanna move into the school's hostel..i wanna move in to study..(plus it's fun to stay with your friends....)she's now upset cuz she thinks its her fault...and now it's really kinda HER fault that Im not allowed to move in...
I thought fr many days...thinking how to convince my mom....she told me she was proud of me cuz I've done my preparation(on convincing her and finding all the informations)..she told me she was convinced...I thought the same too..I thought I can convince her...I just cant think of anything,for her to disallow...but what she got is"I dont wanna miss seeing you grow up".. I was like *'SHIT'.... I asked her how on earth would see missed my growth,she said we'll have less interaction on daily stuffs like 'how am I goin on in school','how's my homework' and stuff...i told her I will tell her everything when I reached home on friday or saturday..she said that she wouldnt be fully filled with what happend...and about my grandma being upset of herself....these 2 reasons just made a PERFECT way to stop me from going....
ugh...I'm sad...extremely sad. Im fustrated.... I've been like this for the 2nd day..and it'll go on...(my fusstration)... there's a part that my mom told me about the growth thingy that eventhough there's gonna be happy,sad, angry memories but there'll be something to remeber...after that conversation..I though....from now on...there'll only be sad memories for them to remember....
Im sorry but still...
23.5.2010
so I asked my mom for permission. she dont allow me to move in....I told her I woulnd have that much distractions if I move into the hostel..it's just for my result's sake....but she said she wouldnt want to miss seeing me grow up...she said I'll have a chance to stay in a hostel...i told her is not the same...she said if I move in to the hostel...we'll not have that much interaction...
my grandma..she always think in her way!! I dont like it...gosh!!! I told her it's not her fault that I wanna move into the school's hostel..i wanna move in to study..(plus it's fun to stay with your friends....)she's now upset cuz she thinks its her fault...and now it's really kinda HER fault that Im not allowed to move in...
I thought fr many days...thinking how to convince my mom....she told me she was proud of me cuz I've done my preparation(on convincing her and finding all the informations)..she told me she was convinced...I thought the same too..I thought I can convince her...I just cant think of anything,for her to disallow...but what she got is"I dont wanna miss seeing you grow up".. I was like *'SHIT'.... I asked her how on earth would see missed my growth,she said we'll have less interaction on daily stuffs like 'how am I goin on in school','how's my homework' and stuff...i told her I will tell her everything when I reached home on friday or saturday..she said that she wouldnt be fully filled with what happend...and about my grandma being upset of herself....these 2 reasons just made a PERFECT way to stop me from going....
ugh...I'm sad...extremely sad. Im fustrated.... I've been like this for the 2nd day..and it'll go on...(my fusstration)... there's a part that my mom told me about the growth thingy that eventhough there's gonna be happy,sad, angry memories but there'll be something to remeber...after that conversation..I though....from now on...there'll only be sad memories for them to remember....
Im sorry but still...
23.5.2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
TeaRs ArR sO IriTatinG.....
I have the feeling of crying...I dont know why...
I thought I was tha only person in tha world who has this kinda feeling..but I was wrong..ther're a few more close friends are like that to....
I hate it when my eyes produce tears even when I dont need them...huh...I like this phrase"nobody will know you better than yourself" this is so true !!! But I think my close friends know me fine...
I hate it when I cry...I have that feeling that my friends will feel "Carmen's cryin cuz she wants somebody to pity her.."...and that's bad...I dont want ppl to pity me...so I tried hell hard to hold my stupid tears from dripping outta my eyes...
But honestly...school is tha only place I can cry at...when I looked into Young's eyes....I cant stop my tears from rushing down...I always feel a little better after crying..but whatever feeling that made me feel like crying before...will come back in no time...
I wish to improve my english and my maners..I think I talk to loud and I keep shouting and screaming in class....I hate it..but I just cant help that crap to happen..so from now on..Im gonna force myself..to be polite...talk softly...and not to be so...so...bitchy??I dont know...
anyways...I hate it when I say "Har"instead of "sorry/pardon".....so I must change..It'll make me feel consoled if i'd changed....
just wish....
I thought I was tha only person in tha world who has this kinda feeling..but I was wrong..ther're a few more close friends are like that to....
I hate it when my eyes produce tears even when I dont need them...huh...I like this phrase"nobody will know you better than yourself" this is so true !!! But I think my close friends know me fine...
I hate it when I cry...I have that feeling that my friends will feel "Carmen's cryin cuz she wants somebody to pity her.."...and that's bad...I dont want ppl to pity me...so I tried hell hard to hold my stupid tears from dripping outta my eyes...
But honestly...school is tha only place I can cry at...when I looked into Young's eyes....I cant stop my tears from rushing down...I always feel a little better after crying..but whatever feeling that made me feel like crying before...will come back in no time...
I wish to improve my english and my maners..I think I talk to loud and I keep shouting and screaming in class....I hate it..but I just cant help that crap to happen..so from now on..Im gonna force myself..to be polite...talk softly...and not to be so...so...bitchy??I dont know...
anyways...I hate it when I say "Har"instead of "sorry/pardon".....so I must change..It'll make me feel consoled if i'd changed....
just wish....
Why must everything be so....complecated??O.o?
Well...it's been a long time...I'd didnt write over here....Much missed but anyways..dont feel lke posting the past....
Sometimes I have this feeling that Im hated by friends...but I really wanna know who..and why?...
Friendship aint an easy thingto go through with....the word FRIENDSHIP sounds sweet and friendly...but there's danger hiding inside witch most of us fallen it to...I've been trying by best to maintain every friendship I have with my friends...useless...trying to not let them feel left out..but at last?? they still do....I doubt if anyone have a cure to that...I wish that I can be able to stay tough enough for the rest of my life not by not making anyone of my friends hurt,left out or hate me....but of course,If you really hate me..I have nothing to say about it...
Sometimes I have this feeling that Im hated by friends...but I really wanna know who..and why?...
Friendship aint an easy thingto go through with....the word FRIENDSHIP sounds sweet and friendly...but there's danger hiding inside witch most of us fallen it to...I've been trying by best to maintain every friendship I have with my friends...useless...trying to not let them feel left out..but at last?? they still do....I doubt if anyone have a cure to that...I wish that I can be able to stay tough enough for the rest of my life not by not making anyone of my friends hurt,left out or hate me....but of course,If you really hate me..I have nothing to say about it...
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