TeaRs ArR sO IriTatinG.....

I have the feeling of crying...I dont know why...

I thought I was tha only person in tha world who has this kinda feeling..but I was wrong..ther're a few more close friends are like that to....

I hate it when my eyes produce tears even when I dont need them...huh...I like this phrase"nobody will know you better than yourself" this is so true !!! But I think my close friends know me fine...

I hate it when I cry...I have that feeling that my friends will feel "Carmen's cryin cuz she wants somebody to pity her.."...and that's bad...I dont want ppl to pity me...so I tried hell hard to hold my stupid tears from dripping outta my eyes...
But honestly...school is tha only place I can cry at...when I looked into Young's eyes....I cant stop my tears from rushing down...I always feel a little better after crying..but whatever feeling that made me feel like crying before...will come back in no time...

I wish to improve my english and my maners..I think I talk to loud and I keep shouting and screaming in class....I hate it..but I just cant help that crap to happen..so from now on..Im gonna force myself..to be polite...talk softly...and not to be so...so...bitchy??I dont know...
anyways...I hate it when I say "Har"instead of "sorry/pardon".....so I must change..It'll make me feel consoled if i'd changed....

just wish....

Why must everything be so....complecated??O.o?

Well...it's been a long time...I'd didnt write over here....Much missed but anyways..dont feel lke posting the past....

Sometimes I have this feeling that Im hated by friends...but I really wanna know who..and why?...
Friendship aint an easy thingto go through with....the word FRIENDSHIP sounds sweet and friendly...but there's danger hiding inside witch most of us fallen it to...I've been trying by best to maintain every friendship I have with my friends...useless...trying to not let them feel left out..but at last?? they still do....I doubt if anyone have a cure to that...I wish that I can be able to stay tough enough for the rest of my life not by not making anyone of my friends hurt,left out or hate me....but of course,If you really hate me..I have nothing to say about it...

respect..

you must respect elderlys.....please...respect them...
^^you dont know why they'll leave you...and its forever.....so..please appriceate^^

Tolerate....

I just need a little more tolerance.....to keep myself alife.....

Tolerance is all I need now...
I'll always get scoled eventhough Im right or wrong....so...I have to tolerate and build up my tolerations...mmmm..^^
I can do it..can I??

holidays....exam....

Huh..today is the last day of school for chinese new year break...Young went to Pinang at 10 something....Just saw her once today...Miss her sooo much...

I was looking for Hai Ryun at our school assembly today but failed....at last I saw her after school on the brige^^..she asked weather can I go out to Pavilion(donno how to spell><)on my bithday....I said Im not sure....Miss her too lar...

A lot of thinhs happened these few days...I think I hurt someone's feeling..but anyways..I'd apologised...My love life sucks XP!!.....today when I was having tuition at Kasturi..there's this couple(my friend and I noticed for quite a long time already..)..they sit together in every lesson^^....they sat together..but they dont talk...can you believe it?? then suddenly...I really admire them><....long time ago..I told Young.."I admire couples but dont not wanna get involved^^"..Some of my best friends or friends...feel like having a love partner^^so I just tell them to go for it if they can handle it^^....I think couples are really sweet...I love to see couples..*weirdo>_<* haha...


I owe Jas and SK 998 tickles....uuuhhhhT.T

After the holidays....are EXAMS!!!!
HAVE TO WORK HARD T.T

I think this'sfor today^^gotta go to bed...

...

sorry....

took this on friday(5.2.2010)
^^ haha I cut it on my own ler^^1st time^^ very ecited^^

Hmm....

I'm tired...
Don't feel like Ive any hope...
Australia is my Aim!! but I don't think I can achieve that....
All my friends have AWESOME results..but I don't..how can I get good results?? HELL NO...NEVER!!.No WAY... sk..jas...Jc..young..hai ryun...harn...shirley ...and more friends kept asking me to cheer up and not be sad...but how??

Young told me today(8.2.2010)at the 1st recess..she's not going to AUS...its a 100%....100% is a very effective and sensitive number for me...I cant really take it...
suddenly tears kept rolling like yoyos inside my eyes...T.T...

Do I have a fake smile?
I don't really know who am I anymore...
and that's scary....
huh~



PMR..JUEC...are driving me crazy...@.@...

Gosh....phuh~


Can anyone define EMO???hmm..

I think I ROCK!!!!!

Not to be self-conscious..but I've totally gave up on you!!!!! Can you believe it!!!OMG!!!!!!I ROCK!!!!!!!yeah Baby!!!!!Ya think I rock???Yea I do!!!!!wwwooooaaaaahhhoooooo!!!!!!!!!!I ROCK!!! I ROCK!!....Miracles doesnt happen on me...so I made one...this is so a MIRACLE!!!!!I GAVE UP!!!!HELL YEAH!!!yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!for these freakin 3 years and 1 month 4 days......(04.02.2010) I gave up on you!!!!!!!!!yeah baby!!I succeed!!!!!woahoa!!!!!!Cant believe it!!!??? yea yea yea yea!!!!!! When i went to your profile...something suddenly strucked into my freakin stupid brain....and its when it went SMART.."ITS NOT WORTH CRUSHING ON A PERSON WHO DOESN'T LIKE YOU....AND THINKS YOU'RE ANNOYING EVEN AS A FRIEND...."OMG!!!!!SUCH A NICE THING TO THINK ABOUT!!!I ROCK!!!!!WOAHOA!!!!!YEA BABY I DO!!!!huh!!!^^ hahaha!!!! Feel the relief!!!^^ yeah~ (V for Victory!!!)huhu!!!!

PainT.T

owhhhh..Very pain...but after the 3rd time I make myself volmit today..I felt much more better^^hope Im able to go to school tomorrow^^...Miss my friends...Ryan...thanks...and sorry..