Life is stupid sometimes.

Why is life so hard for everyone??

well maybe not you,but it's really hard for me...why?
Cant it be easier?
Family issues,
FRIENDS issues,
I have issues of myself! I dont know who am I .. and I think im not going to know.? please...I really wanna find who am I really is....
Do I look like I'll be scared of something? well..not really...but I am...somehow. huh..
luckily I have tumblr..? and blog.. and my DIARY <3 and twitter... and MUSIC. <3 if not...I think I cant take it..well I can anyhow..hahahha..

Im strong:)
and will always be!!! ^^
haih...if life could be easier..how awesome will that be?

Right,Happy Birthday Tze Yang!



carmen
10.3.2011
9:35pm

Love life

I do NOT have a crush on anyone on this earth!! no no no no no!
neveeeeerrrr!! RAWWRRR!!!!!!!!


though RAWR means I LOVE YOU..in dinosour language...I just knew this..but still RAWR to me is just somthing...just something to express when Im speechless or whatsoever:D


RAWRRR!

night.
have to work on the song!! aaahhh!! hope eveything goes well:P
owh..right! I have to thank KELVIN here, for gifting me that lovely blue pen! I love it! thank youuu!!!


night.


carmen
3.3.2011
11:47pm

Life is hard.

Please agree that life is HARD.

seriously.

I found out somthing these few days.. one of my friend is getting kinda neglected by another friend...well that's what I think..I think I neglected her too..!! Im soooo sorry! I love you!! Im sorry! I know how it feels...!! but Im sorry if I neglected youtoo!!!!! sorrrrrrry!!!


There's another thing,being popular and non-popular has SUCH a big difference...well I love being low profile...

if you're not popular and you're standing next to someone much more popular...you'll get noticed maybe after all the popular's fan's lovey dovey talks...yeah..that's pretty much like not getting noticed at all...*wide smile*
so..who the hell cares!? :)
just smile and everything will be all right!! (not.)

Today...Im working on a presentation tomorrow...about Emma Waltson and Logan Lerman! darn ..Im stilll thinking on what song should Logan Lerman(Etrey) should play on my guitar for the presentation!!!! screw it!..

huh...
many crap happened today!!! and I didnt get my time to write my diaryy!!! Im going to write it somehow..either today or tomorrow!..but first I have to think what kind of meloday and song lyrics should Etrey play!!!!! which is considered as composing a song...:D fun but not so fun when it's so late already....and I have to wake up so early tomorrow morning....
wish me good luck!

carmen
3.3.2011
11:44pm

SWEET SIXTEEN

Im sixteen today onwards! :D excited.

Though today I didnt really had a really bizzare or special birthday like what the others would mostly do..cause it’s their sisteenth bithday,Im happy.flattered by all the wishes people gave me:D

I love you guys!thank y’all!

about the boyfriend thinggy? thanks my girls who cared and tell me that I’ll find one..but I dont think so…I dont really think that someone would actually waste his time just to try to break my strong thought off defensive love..:) you’ll see..noone’s bothered to do that!But Im totaly cool with it!:))

I love all of you! had a great time today!

Looove,

carmen

11:51pm

xoxo! night!

today

What a day..

TODAY was really worth living through though..

I cried in schoo..which was..stupid.
I was explaining what happend at home yesterday to my friends..
huh.
They're so good to me..
So good I really cant take it..
I love them!!!!!
you guys rawkk!!!
:')
I love you guys!


This is like a dream...
Just like a dream!
too nice to be true..
but it's true it's not awful..
there's either something wrong with me,or there's something wrong with the world..

I think im shutting up.
I showed to many feelings.
too many..
I shouldnt cry.
gawd.
I have to be strong.:)
thanks to all of you that consoled me today!
I feel betta.
I hope there wont be a next time...
:)
<3



Carmen
12:20am
10.2.2011

Up coming Valentines ...

Gawd darn it!
I've NEVER in my life ever cared about valentines.
LIke it's even....important...==??
untill something happened,now im darn nervous.
Gawd, why why why?....
Why must it be such a scary day? It's shhooooo scary!!!
Help!
I dont like it.
I act like a boy,gawd i even,almost,am one..
Im so boy-ish.why care about valentine.
Yeah,boys get dates and gift flowers..but..im physicly a gal...who CARES!!!!!!! T.T


Carmen
11:35am
8.2.2011

Why?

I went to the old folks home today...
I forgotten the name..sorry.

I just dont understand!! why must they're kids be so cruel and leave them alone there???why?? Why dont they take care of them themselves?? I dont like it at all!!

But all we can do now is help them... make them happy...let them eat well...rest well.
So..im goin to ask my teacher and see if she'll accept my idea of bringing us all to the old folks home to help out!!

<3


Carmen
20.1.2011
9.03pm

Skunk

If you've never know what's a skunk..check my brother out...I didnt mean check him out check him out..I ment go look at his freakin assy face...you'l get me..

Like seriously...PLEASE give me a freakin prize for tolerating him for my life...I can donate him if anybody wants him..!!! just remember his got PMS now and he needs to change his overflowed pad every 5 minutes..

Asshole!

Carmen
10:53am
31.12.2010

December

I just noticed that...my favourite month is December<3

Welcome December,

just wanna tell you that I just found out Im in love with you without a reason:)

Carmen

1.12.2010

6:38pm

Fictionary

Why isnt the world fictionated??haha...
If, this world IS all fiction..I bet alians will,too,desperately want to come to earth:D

Gah..Fiction.Fiction.Fiction.I guess Im really into these kinda stuff...No WONDER mom's so worried about me:) haha... sorry mom!! You would be as adicted as me if you try reading one...or maybe more adicted than I am:D

Fiction,is the only FAKE thing I like in this world... It's fake that it's so REal...

Soulmate

SOULMATE...

One thing that they'd said in Night World--the novel.

In reality..Does anyone believe in soulmate?? Will I meet mine?? It doesnt matter the age,the looks or if they're enemies...they're just MENT TO BE TOGETHER..they're SOULMATES...But of course,in the novel,where I read until,are all nice endings..because it's really hard to SEPERATE soulmates...REALLY HARD..

They said that, When soulmate found each other,they'll have this very very special feeling..like electric shock,I mean like when they LOOKED at each other DIRECTLY...
But,they can also feel something when they TOUCH..:) It's like magic..Nobody can control it:)

I would really wanna have THAT..:P

I would REALLY wanna know if ANYONE,in this world,have ever had that feeling... ??


Carmen
28.11.2010
8:08pm

Night World

Night world<3

Night world,is actually the name of 8 series of books.
I’m reading the 3rd book now..It’s really nice:)

I like Mary-Lynnette..Her character is exactly like mine:)..just maybe a LIL different.
The name ‘Night world’, also gave me a lil idea of myself..hmm..okay…see Night world,to me includes DARKNESS.COLD.PEACE.SAFETY.and the whole GALAXY above the sky… really..It feels nice to even just THINK of it:)

Mary-Lynnette said that she felt safe at night..It’s like the night belongs to her..well that was what I was thinking before I read the 2nd book, where Mary-Lynnette only appear :)I wrote it here too…but I kinda forgotten the title..

I don’t know if anyone would ever think like me… Like this. Really, like if anyone could feel how I felt for the night…SO PEACEFUL…and NICE.

Owh right,
Late evening (about 7 o’clock, for Malaysia) Look up the sky, It’s very beautiful…Try looking at it EVERY eveningJ MEZMERIZINGJ AWsome. It is because the sky will change its colour and pattern every day…Really just try once, it’s lovely:)



Carmen
27.11.2010
6:00pm

Back to standard 4.amazing

I never thought that I would EVER havea chance to go back to Standard 4..



But,

I do:)

Im in Thai now..studying in a Standard 4 class.

Omgawd let me tell ya HOW AWSOME it is:)



Today's my 2nd day attending this school:) Learnt alot..but still Im not able to pronounce the words correctly,which is actually ALL WRONG..:P

Im trying my best to learn everything..


All those kids...they're sooo darn Friendly!! really!! I really really loved them..



The first day,

My brother and I went in to a class..then they were like all running out and looked in..o.o cute right??? haha..they're classroom,but they ran out and turn they're heads and looked from the window at us.:D



they the rest of the day was awsome:) got to learn a lot:) It was really fun!!

I met this girl, Yeng.

Cute and friendly:)Her father is a Malaysian,but she's Thai. So she knows a little Chinese. And she's a like the translator:)



And guess what?I fell in love with this 9 year old thai boy!!(though they're standard 4,they're still 9,they start school early:) )

Biea(I guess it's spelt that way,they write in thai though)

OHMY..like who wouldnt??:) drop dead charming!!He's got that freakin charming smile!!! omg why isnt he like 16??If he's freakin 16!!!I'll love him forever!! hahaXD

I'll post they're pictures;D



OKay..then the 2nd day,which is today...

I went to school and stuff..and he's like...y'know as usual,they stare:) like im special or something...well he looked at me,THA POINT ISsssss, when I found out. HE GAVE ME THAT SO-DARN-CHARMING-SMILE of his!! dang it!!! :D

Omg he's soooo assy cute!!!!!!

ugh!! hahaXD( getting high and bitchy,please dont mind,:P I dont think there's such awsome cute lil boy in M'sia)

Like really:) who wouldnt,be IN LOVE with such a cute 9-year-old-boy?? aaah:D

gonna dream of him:P



Owh and there's this gal name Cha Cha.

very cute too:) really:)



Arggghh they're ALL very cute!! It's just that I dont know all their names...but will soon know:D



Im souuu gonna take my camera to school tomorrow:)

Gonna freakin take pictures!!!

ma hobby:P

ahhhh!!!

Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.Biea.

aha..dont mind me:P



Carmen

10:44pm

Change...

Goin EMO

I guess I'll be going EMO again.
Like seriously, I think EMO suits me..
Being happy all the time,doesnt mean that Im always that happy. It doesnt mean that I can always have happiness around me.
On the otherside,
Being EMO, I dont need to care about ANY emotions. Happiness may come to me and surprise me,but if it doesnt appear,I wouldnt get hurt again and again by UNhappiness.

EMO,
Can protect me from Harm AND UNhappiness.
Can keep me quite and slim too *wink* haha...

really...
All the combinations of the things I like leads,a lil, to EMO.
P/s: I JUst figured that out.

Though,
my type of EMO is not the VERY SERIOUS kind...
Mine is totally different,but still,counted as EMO.
I still talk and smile( when I feel like. Or when I have to. Or when happiness surprised me.)and eat chocolate(and try my best not to. cause I wanna be slim...get it?)and I dont know..Just,I'm still normal..but at the same time...abnormal...==(okay I really dont get what am I saying--) BY the way, that's what I wanted to be:D

Carmen
5:29pm
22.11.2010

Love.

Kissing your soulmate with THIS move is so dang AWSOME!!:D this is a Girl kissing a BOY...

THIS is a BOY kissing a Girl ;D

cool huh??:DD

Carmen

11:41am

22.11.2010

Darkness or Light? Cold or Hot?

Do you prefer Darkness? Or the Light??

Well I prefer darness...

I love night time...

I dont know why do I love the dark and the cold so much...

It's like everytime when night and darkness breaks in..I feel peace.

You'll have to be someone like me to feel it..I cant explain how much I love the dark...

I feel safe in the dark.

No one can see me.

So I know, that Im safer than there's anything to protect me...

And the breez of night time...

If feels so... comfortable :)

Night.Darkness.Cold.

Is my world.

Carmen

10:17am

22.11.2010

Already In Thailand

Morning!!!
Im In Thailand!!
Reached here yesterday night 9 something M'sia time:D
It's an hour difference here..


So...I saw my sister:) she changed A LOT!! Taller,slimmer.
She misses me but she treat me like a stranger..I mean,she didnt,but I just felt something weird between me and her last night...BUT THEN, when we're about to sleep..she's back to her normal self...Everything's gonna be okay!!By the way,She just went to school.:)(7.30am.Thai time)

Everything is slightly different from what I saw since I was 12 years old...


Hmm...Im going to learn Thai..Going for tuition and stuff...It's gonna be a LIL tough..but I can take it,for sure:P Im going to have my breakfast first...then I'll wait for my 'a yi' to wake up..then we'll see what can we do to pass though the day:)

Im actually watching Sonny With A Chance now...Suppose to take an early bath...but I decided to finish my blog first:DD


A yi and my sister said I grew fatter== cant blame them..Im wearing sleveless== but fine.Im working it out anyways:)


Here's some pictures when we're still in M'sia..


This is when we're looking for food..near our area:) My father,My brother and I:) My father wanted to look at the camera...(for us)but then we said it's okay,you drive.hahaXDHandsome lerhh:)

Me and my brother:D

Heehee.. and this is me:DD

Carmen

9:55am

22.11.2010

Thailand

Yo yo yo!!!

Morning guys:)

Im going to Thailand very soon this morning:)
Cant wait to meet my brothers and sisters.(you wont understand if you arent close with me ;D)

Owhh..Im waiting for my father to fetch my brother and I now..but he'snot home yet..so we'll have to WAIT ..:)

I'll still be updating this cute thinggy...
Catch up!!to see what awsome stuff am I going to do in Thailand;D


By the way, I love this type of headphone..not the one im looking for,but the same kind:D

Carmen

9:23 am

21.11.2010

Thailand trip!!!! :D

Heyyyy!!!

Im going to Thailand for THE WHOLE HOLIDAY!!!

At first I wasnt that eager to go..but then I slowly think that going there aint a bad thing too..

Im going to learn how to live on my own there:)

I think the reason I feel like going at last is because I can be myself if I go to Thai this time( there's a special reason,long story)I can be myself...:)

Carmen
10:00pm
17.11.2010